flashback to hayden's 1st holiday

I was looking at these pictures after I created our 2011 holiday card online. Hayden was six months and this was his first holiday season back in 2005. He was an adorable baby (needless to say) with the best edible cheeks and a smile that was not to be believed unless you saw it for yourself.

Speaking of that smile in the picture with the red sweater, you wouldn't know it but his Aunt Jenna was supporting him as he laughed and played with her. If she let go, he would have lost his balance because he had not yet developed enough trunk strength to support his torso. This would have been the only early sign of FXS if there was any, but even at that it was incredibly subtle.

I look at the other pictures and I see an infant playing with a toy (at least it looks that way), and I also see an infant making eye contact. Even knowing what I know now, I would not think anything at all was different about the incredibly adorable baby in these pictures.

Another two months passed before Dan & I really began to wonder about Hayden's developmental delays (though our focus was temporarily sidetracked when he contracted RSV). At the time these photos were taken, 11 months would come and go before we ever heard of Fragile X Syndrome.

As much as these pictures make me emotional sometimes, I do find significant comfort and hope when I focus on just how far Hayden has come. And how easy it still is to make him laugh.