week three

We're only in the third week but today was the first time that the teacher note in the communication journal wasn't overflowing with praises. Still positive in overall tone, but also inclusive of recaps during a couple of Hayden's fragile x moments. One incident at lunch which unfortunately involved another student, & a second incident in the afternoon (thankfully not involving anyone else). The teacher explained what happened next & how Hayden calmed. Worth noting that Hayden's 1:1 has been absent this week & I am sure that has had an effect on him (among everything else in his world in recent months... it's just been one whirlwind after the next for all of us). 

However also noteworthy, even after his less-than-ideal day-- while communicating with the school about something else-- the Principal actually said, "We are the blessed ones to have Hayden with us every day!"
Of course I read that & my face looked something like this (with a lot more hair):

Truth? There are some logistics to our new reality that suck. But if I had only one thing to say about it so far... they have truly begun to renew my faith in humanity & restore my expectations to help Hayden succeed. In the not-so-distant past H came home from his former school following a similar type day, & told me he had another "stupid meltdown again" & that they had to call a code green. No disrespect for certain procedures to protect the greater good, but I am Hayden's mom first. And nothing can stop the SICK feeling every time I hear his voice in my mind, uttering those words to me. In that moment I felt like it took every ounce of my willpower to look Hayden in the eyes without my own welling up... but that's what I did & I said to him, "You did not have a meltdown, you have fragile x. And where you are going, there are no codes." 

The best way to reinforce difficult behaviors in a person with cognitive impairment, is to make them feel like they are the problem. The best way to reinforce positive behaviors? Create an environment they can feel comfortable in. That is what I will remember about today. Not a meltdown, or a fragile x moment, or heaviness in my heart. But rather the day when the teacher said overall it was good. And then the Principal told me my son is a blessing.

Do you know what Hayden told me about his day today? That they rode bikes in the gym. That's not code for anything except a happy kid.

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