Path

The little kid with light curly hair & the most genuine smile that would sparkle through his eyes like no other kid I know (unbiased of course), graduates for good next week. Days later he turns 21 on the 22nd. He's taller than his parents now & while you can still see some wave in his hair when it starts to get long enough, the warm shade of brown complements his dark yet bright eyes. Even though his smile alone is often more reserved than it used to be, it still adorns his handsome, now-maturing face with plenty of expression. 

I might describe him like a storybook character, but Hayden is a most significant part of our story.

At the completion of 8th grade Hayden was given a cap & gown as well as a yard sign but it was during the pandemic, so he was among many who did not have a commencement ceremony for us to attend. When he finished 12th grade we had a small celebration for him because the end of the school year coincides with his birthday anyway. But completing "high school" was less symbolic as it was known he would continue to attend for two more years. Qualifying students with IEPs (Individualized Education Plan)-- because not all students with IEPs would qualify-- can benefit from an 18 to 21 program (inappropriately named, because they could be near 22 depending on their birth date vs the school calendar). After 21 they transition to Adult Services, when their DDD budget (NJ Department of Developmental Disabilities) becomes available. So that's why when Hayden finished Grade 12 there was no pomp & circumstance at school because they officially graduate when they complete (what used to be known as) the Young Adult Program (it's been renamed Path 360 at his school). 

In the absence of an 8th Grade Graduation & no official 12th Grade Graduation, his Path 360 Commencement is emotionally a big deal for this mama! Hayden has been in a school setting since he aged out of Early Intervention at 3 years old, so this is a significant transition vs all the previous steps. And because of his date of birth, the fact that graduation is coinciding with his milestone 21st is a biggie.

This blog update is to announce that Hayden has been accepted into an ARC program to continue refining his daily independence skills, community interactions, & pre-vocational training. The ARC is a nationwide nonprofit leader in supporting people with disabilities as well as their families & the professionals who support them. Their mission includes promoting civil rights, supporting inclusion, community acceptance, & planning for their future. 

I technically began researching next steps a couple of years ago & started touring programs (the ones who would permit visits, which is most) in late 2025. The greatest challenge finding appropriate placement for Hayden is that he is not ready yet for vocational as he still needs some behavioral support. Thankfully his social skills have remained one of his greatest strengths but that said, I was finding that most of the programs checking the appropriate "support" boxes have a lot of participants who are otherwise quite developmentally different than Hayden, especially from a social aspect. Where he is graduating from, Path 360 is just one of at least half a dozen incredible programs under the "360" umbrella. While Hayden has benefited greatly from being a part of their community, at the same time because of his developmental & behavioral needs he hasn't been able to take advantage to the fullest extent their vocational & some of their other programs. 

This particular ARC program is similar in that way, where they have a comprehensive structure of their own services. This can include a wide range of support through different programs depending on level of independence, interests & needs such as day hab, residential, collegiate experience, vocational, clinic supports, & more. 

Hayden will accomplish what he does, when he is ready & not before. While it's of no help to Hayden & other individuals like him that certain supports are no longer mandated when turning 21, I am grateful to have found a program that is at least structured to guide us.  And they've been extremely receptive to our input & even participated in his Exit IEP to gain more insight into Hayden & his nuances

I hope as Hayden graduates from one Path he will only continue to enjoy the next. May this be an acronym for his Protection, Adoration, Tenacity, & Happiness-- for himself & those closest to him. Especially the latter... my wish is that he will always have people around him who make him happy. That he always feels fulfilled, in whatever capacity that means for him. Hayden Zem, we love you beyond measure & we know that you'll continue to do all that you can in your own time. 

Your own path at your own pace.

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